Ace's Millions
by understandeble giberish
Summary: Two years ago Ace proposed to Lexi. But somehow on every wedding day, something went wrong. Now, two years have gone by, and they finally have the perfect day to get married. However, Ace has to postpone the wedding after he learns of a strange windfall. He's inherited 100 million dollars from his deceased uncle. But the will's conditions may end the marriage before it's beginning.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:...…

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-Prologue-

It was a relatively quite week in Acmetropolis. Crime was low, no alien invaders, the super villains would still be in prison for at least a few days before breaking out again. It was the perfect time for Ace and Lexi to get married. Or, so they thought. But all of that changed when there was sudden knock on the door. Ace was on the training room. Slam of course was in the kitchen, eating chicken wings too loud to hear anything. Rev was visiting his family. Tech was too busy in his lab, too far away to hear it. Duck was too busy trying to Scratch Jason's eyes out for taking the remote before he could turn it to Misty Breeze, and Jason was too busy trying not to get mauled. But Lexi heard it and after a few moments, opened the door to greet a small beagle on a black suit, but was interrupted by him.

"Excuse me," Said the Beagle urgently. "Does an Ace Bunny reside here?"

Suspicious if this was another conspiracy to make them postpone the wedding, Lexi was prepared to interrogate him but Ace had just finished training and entered the room in time to hear the question. "I'll take it Lex!" Ace called as he walked toward her, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before turning to the beagle. "Nei, sup dog."

The beagle pulled a note pad and a pen from his jacket before asking, "Are you Ace Bunny?"

"Dat's what I'm told."

"Your mother's maiden name was Sarah D. Hare?"

"'Less I hoid wrong."

"Your the eldest son of Charles M. Bunny?"

"Pretty sure I wasn' adopted."

"You were born at the Merriam Hospital in 2749?" In his mind Ace began to think of why this Beagle was asking him all of these questions when a flood of realization swept over him.

"I've been drafted." Ace summarized. Weird, he never even knew there was a war.

Lexi gasped and hugged Ace tightly before pleading, " No! You can't take him, he's already fought enough for the time being! Plus, he's injured! Ace, show him all the wounds you got from the last mission-"

"No-no-no, you misunderstand. I represent the law firm of Grant & Ripley."

_'Hmm. Maybe all my enemies are suin' me for assault an battery.' _Ace thought.

"Mr. Bunny, I am merely trying to establish your identity."

"...Well don' keep us in suspense, why?!"

"Well, if you are Ace Bunny you may hear something of great interest to you."

"An' what exactly will I hear dat'll be of such great interest to me?"

"Well, you may be; mind you I say may, be heir of a large estate... At least twenty million." But everyone heard that. Slam dropped his chicken. Tech accidentally wired his new machine wrong and it exploded in his face. Duck quit mangling Jason and quacked over to the door. And Jason caught his breath his breath before stumbling to the door. The beagle handed Ace a small card and said, "You may expect to hear from us in a few days." And left. Ace intensely looked at the card before turning toward Duck and Jason.

"A'ight, which one of you tought of dis?"

Duck threw his hands up. "I wouldn't pull a joke this big! Somebody might drop dead!"

*COUGH* *COUGH* "Did he just say what I think he-" *COUGH* "Said?" Tech asked as he walked towards the group and looked at the card.

Ace answered, "Twenty million... It must be a joke." He summarized.

"Well, he sounded truthful." Lexi interjected.

"Yeah, but I dunno anyone who would leave me ten dollars, let alone twenty mill."

"Hey look," Duck said as he ran his thumb over the card. "It's engraved!"

"I've heard of Grant & Ripley, it's a reputable firm! If they even bothered to search for you on your first day back from Blanc it must be legitimate!"

"Yeah... Yeah, ya right. Then it must be true... I'm millionaire! Lex, Lex I'm a millionaire! Look at de card, it's engraved!" He said ecstatically. "Woohoo! twenty million dollars... Wait, what am I gonna do wit twenty million dollars...?"

-End of prologue-

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Author's Note: ...Seriously... What is a super hero going to do with 20 million dollars...?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I just realized this storie's gonna take a lot of math... Crap.

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- Grant & Ripley towers, Acmetropolis -

Ace began pacing back and forth, reviewing his uncle's will. He had already read it five times, but that still didn't make it any more realistic. "Mr. Jones, lemme get dis straight. My uncle died and lef' me over 100 million dollars?"

"And that's after all of the taxes have been paid." Mr. Grant interjected.

"That's right," Assured Mr. Jones, the executor of the will. "Made it all in Acme-Bolivia. He was digging for a neanderthal specimen when he struck tin."

"Yeah, but a hundred million, dat ain't tin... What was my uncle like?"

"Oh, Jim was a fine man. Not much of a family man, but, he liked his little jokes."

"Was dis one of dem?" Ace asked, still in unbelief of the requirements of the will.

"No, no. He just didn't want to spoil you."

That made Ace laugh. "Didn' wanna spoil me? He lef' me a hundred million dollars, provided dat I spen' thirteen million by high noon of my twenty-fourth boithday?"

"He didn't want you to become a spend-thrift or a waster."

"Now wait a minute Mr. Jones, how can someone spen' thirteen million in two months and not become a spen'-thrift or a waster? My uncle born crazy, or did it jus' kinda sneak up on 'em in his late' years?"

"No, no. His idea was perfectly logical. You see, when he was a boy his father made him chew a wad of tobacco. He got so sick of it he never chewed or smoked again. He wants you to spend until your sick of it. He wants you to learn to hate spending money."

"Oh C'mon Mr. Jones! Who can loin ta hate spendin money?"

"When is you 24th birthday?"

"October 13."

"Hmm. Sorry to give you such a short notice Mr. Bunny, but you see, your uncle died 5 months ago while you were on Blanc; we couldn't contact you. And your brother was still thought to be dead, so not included in the will. Hmm, let's see," Mr. Jones said as he picked up a calendar. "Today's August 13th. Two months from now, October 13th exactly at noon, if you can spend the 13 million with no assets, you will inherit the balance of your uncle's estate."

"Sinch! I'll give it to charity!"

"Not that easy son. You can only give 5% to charity."

"A'ight. I'll buy war bonds!"

"War bonds are the most valuable asset you can own."

"Ok... I still tink I can knock de money out wit two hands tied behind my back. Plus I've gotta few pals dat can help me."

"You can use both hands and your head but no pals. It must be kept secret."

"Secret? Why?"

"So that your friends can't help you, nor hinder you."

"Well, what's a man got friends for if dey can' help him spen' his money?"

"Umm, there are a few more conditions I think you should hear. Grant, will you read them?"

"Of course. It says, 'no indiscriminate gifts or giving away of funds,' but don't be stingy though. Your uncle hated a stingy man. 'No more than ordinary dissipations,' your uncle hated a saint. And above all, 'No matrimonial entanglements.'"

"No m-m-matri-... Now wait a minute gentlemen, wait a minute. I'm gettin married tomorrow!"

"Well, you'll just have to postpone your wedding Mr. Bunny. A wife might become a very valuable asset."

Ace looked at the will. Then thought of Lexi. Then thought of the money. Then thought of Lexi. For him, it wasn't a very hard decision. "Well, was nice havin 100 million, even if it was only for a few minutes." He said as he set the will on the desk and prepared to leave.

"Now wait a minute son! If that girl won't wait two months she isn't worth marrying!"

"Two months? I've been waitin two years! Dats quit a long time!"

"Besides, you don't want all of that money going to a bunch of old bones, do ya?"

"O-o-ole' bones?"

Mr. Jones took 6 large stacks of money out of a brief case, all in twenty thousand dollar bills, and began counting them out loud before answering, "That's right. The astrological society of Acme-Bolivia gets it, if you don't."

"D-dose twenty tousand dollar bills ya got... Dey real?"

He laughed and handed Ace one. "Real, and good, any place in the land. So, what will it be?"

He took a few moments to consider his options. Get married tomorrow and never see his inheritance again, or get married in two months and have over $100,000,000 to support whatever future they were going to have. 13 million in 60 days... That would mean he would have to spend at least 260 thousand a day... "I'll do it!. I'll spen' de money six times as fast and be finished in thoity days!"

"That's the spirit! Sounded just like your uncle when you said that!" He said as he offered Ace his hand. Ace accepted the friendly handshake before reaching for the money. "Wait just a minute son. There's the little matter of an oath."

"An oath?"

"Oh, not that we don't trust you." Mr. Jones assured before picking up a Bible. "But it may bolster your conscious in case you weaken. Please place your hand on the Bible and repeat after me."

"Ok," Ace complied.

Mr. Jones: "I Ace bunny,"

Ace: "I Ace Bunny,"

Mr. Jones: "Solemnly promise and agree,"

Ace: "Solemnly promise an' agree,

Mr. Jones: "That I will faithfully uphold,"

Ace: "Dat I will faithfully uphold,"

Me. Jones: "Every condition of my uncle's will,"

Ace: " 'Ery condition of my uncle's will,"

Mr. Jones: "And I will not communicate to any person,"

Ace: "An' I'll not communicate to any poison,"

Mr. Jones: "About any information,"

Ace: "Bout any information,"

Mr. Jones: "Relative to the provisions,"

Ace: "Relative ta de provisions,"

Mr. Jones: "That which I may inherit,"

Ace: "Dat which I may inherit,"

Mr. Jones: "The additional 87 million dollars on my 24th birthday,"

Ace: "De additional 87 million dollars on my 24th birthday,"

Mr. Jones: "So help me God."

Ace: "So help me God."

"Ok then Mr. Bunny," Said Mr. Jones as he handed Ace one of the six stacks. "Here is one million. The rest will be transferred to your bank account."

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Author's Note: Sup peoples! Yeah, sorry that it's pretty short. But it was sorta made to be short so I can simply spam chapters. I just made the prologue and chap 1 this morning! Anywho, please review and tell me whatcha think and how it should end!


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